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Well, not particularly in general. A lot of people seem to think I have a martyr complex (as do I, at times), but it's the kind which is mostly nose-to-the-grindstone martyrdom which ends up being useful: the project gets done, the mission gets accomplished, whatever. I'm also willing to admit it, and mostly how it's annoying more than anything else but not a real bother except in extreme cases. What does bother me particularly are those pity cases who decide everyone is actively ganging up against them and try to turn themselves into a pity case. In one of my previous rants on my own martyr complex I skirt dangerously close to this but it was mostly a sideways commentary on how annoyed I was with the entire situation at the time. A situation that has since been addressed, to everyone's benefit.
No, what bugs me is something like this: whenever something doesn't go a particular person's way, said person (S) will immediately begin to moan. This is what always happens, S cries, everyone just doesn't understand and they're mean and they're all out to piss on me. I find this particularly irksome when S has to dig years into the past to come up with enough things to whine about, what he is whining about is a stupidly small issue in the big scheme of things, and most of the things he thinks make him a victim have absolutely nothing to do with him. This has been happening a lot recently in various circles surrounding me, and so I got to thinking about the term "martyr complex" and how, in some ways, it's unfair.
A true martyr isn't just someone who randomly dies for a belief, but one who does it with strength. Christian martyrs getting tossed to lions or stoned to death didn't impress out of pity; the stoners (heh) and the Coliseum-goers had no pity to give, which is why the martyrs were in the position of having to die horribly in the first place. No, they impressed and inspired through strength, oddly enough, strength of conviction and choice in choosing to submit. I bet when the expected reaction was shrieking and calls for help observers were amazed and astounded by the martyr taking it calmly with an internal strength of will. Martyrdom, in the end, is a function of strength.
People who actively seek out aggrivation and strife (like me, to an extent) have what's called a "martyr complex." It's a fair cop. I don't mind it being applied there because most people with these kinds of martyr complexes are tough and through choice could stop. It's been an effort on my own part, but just as someone can choose to be a martyr, one can choose not to be.
Self-victimizers, however, also get dubbed under the "martyr complex" aegis. Someone who, rather than actually willing themselves through a problem with some amount of decency and respect, instead runs to crying and trying to induce pity. Yes, I've done the victim thing too. Grumblingly. As a matter of "I've taken all that I can and I can take no more!" which is probably healthy sometimes. But to run to it as default? To immediately cringe and whine and say "it's not FAIR!" without even trying to grit one's teeth and just march on?
That's less than humbling. Humility is a virtue. That is debasing. That is taking oneself from the position of active moral agent, waiving all rights and responsibilities thereto, and becoming a passive moral object. A worm, if you will. A sniveling, crying, whining little worm who waits for the rest of the world to solve its problems for it.
That's not a martyr. That's demeaning to proper martyrs who stand up for what they believe in, even if said standing up gets them hammered down.
I think we should instead relegate the snivelers (and probably the constant passive-aggressives of the "I gave so much..." loud variety) to a category other than "martyr complex." Perhaps "whiny blubbering vagina complex."
Or is that too Maddox?
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