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Now, I know that this whole "Tim bitches about stuff" bit on my website was intended to be a Rant of the Week. Well, since the last update, I suppose I just didn't manage to make sufficient time in my schedule to rant every single week. While there was quite a drain on my resources concerning design class and whatnot, that's still not a valid excuse. For what it's worth, sorry for the wait. Now, as I sit in my parents' basement while an idle point in visiting them both for the holidays and as a place to crash as I'm preparing to be best man at my best Kentucky friend's wedding, I have the opportunity to summarize some things that have been bothering me as of late.
First of all, let's start with something near and dear to me.
I should expand this one into a full-on rant later. Anyway, it's come to my attention that a lot of people (and a few people in particular) have lost any concept of their responsibility for the consequences of their actions as acted out by others. Now, it's a sad person who can touch a hot stove, get burned, and blame the stove for being hot. Fortunately, that sort of stupidity seems to be limited to those whom the Scythe of Darwin will eventually strike down as being unfit to breed and those (which may or may not be a subset) who raise whiny lawsuits in Southern California about how the coffee or the pickle was too hot. Unfortunately, a lot of people fail to realize that their actions inspire responses in others and these responses can only be considered the consequences of one's actions. Let's do a case story of one particularly self-centered ind-duh-vidual (to steal a term from Scott Adams via Dogbert):
Our hero starts his spiraling descent into zero-dimensionality eternal praises of the self (if you don't get the reference, pick up Flatlander by Abbot either at Amazon.com or any decent public library) by taking a nice car, taking it far too quickly around a turn, hitting a bump, and flipping over to his near death. Fortunately, he escaped the experience unscathed in body; and at the time I figured it was worth agreeing with him that it was simply an off chance that events conspired to wreck his nice car. Upon looking back with the growing trend, however, I now believe it was probably just another one of the ways he's managed to tighten the screw on his life through his own choices. I'm also guilty of taking turns too fast, but I do know the consequences when I do...
Then he suffers the continual degradation of basically working menial tasks which he believes are far below his mental standing (more on that in a moment). Dishwashing, Whopper Flopper, maybe cashier or busboy if he's lucky, he's inevitably either fired or passed over for promotion in favor of people who don't even speak English. What a travesty! Or is it? It could never have anything to do with him coming to work stoned, maybe, or late, or not even showing up once in a while. I had a coworker like him for the span of a few months at the business school (I fix computers and sit at a desk, nothing I particularly care to crow about) and I covered for her fool ass for as long as possible, but eventually the boss gave her an ultimatum to come in on time or not come in at all and she didn't come in the next day. Cause and effect.
For his next trick, he starts passing around tips on how to get high in a public chatroom where he's an operator (but not chief operator) and there's fourteen-year-olds about. Karma, the chief operator, is there and rakes our hero over the coals gently: don't do it; I don't want to hear it. Should've been the extent of it. Our hero then whines about how he remembers back when people could talk about anything in that room and that it was unfair to him (never mind that he got the job in the first place about whining about unfairness) that he couldn't talk about what he wanted and he "could not possibly understand" Karma's position.
Remember that "could not possibly understand" bit; it'll come up again later.
At this point, Karma doesn't exactly care. Whining is what this guy does and we'll just let it go. But then our hero goes the extra step and states rather clearly that yes, he was probably told in the past but he'll probably get high and just forget it again... at which point Karma decides that the error of knowledge has become an error of will and drops our hero's status from the channel. After a few days of not even noticing this change in events, our hero finds out, whines, and in true wounded drama-queen netizen fashion goes off to self-imposed exile saying on how Karma finally forced him out after two years.
Previous to this, I recall, our hero took a turn too quickly through a red light, bumped a curb, and got a ticket for reckless driving from a cop and "could not possibly understand" why he had to suffer this oppressive intervention by Johnnie Law. Never mind the a) speeding and b) red light. After that and still previous to his fall from chat-room "grace," he "could not possibly understand" how his bank could have the sheer gall to charge him for overdrawing his account. That's right, folks. We've all overdrawn, yes? We've all payed the fee with a grumble, but generally with the understanding that it's the result of us not being as attentive to the state of our finances as we should have been. It's on the contract we have to sign to get these accounts... but of course such a thing couldn't be our (anti)hero's fault; it's just another suggestion of how the world must be out to get him.
Finally, the last nail in the coffin for my respect for this guy. He, as a moderator on a forum, mildly flamebaits an Internet poster over a disagreement, said poster rises to it and flamebaits back--still mildly, but a bit more so. The admin of the forum, after bringing in people from the outside to get a non-biased judgement on the whole thing, slaps both on the wrist and tells them to steer clear of each other. The poster has no problem with this and goes on with her life, but of course us on the moderation staff get an entire rant on how our hero "can not possibly understand" this ruling and how she should have been officially warned or even deleted and he is blameless in this whole affair and the entire ruling was done in bias because we like her and we don't like him.
Well, he's just a smidgen right: the ruling wasn't made in bias because, as said previously, it was checked by people on the outside who don't know anyone involved. At the time, it wasn't a matter of liking her over liking him, but now... well, remember my previous rant about self-fulfilling prophecies? I for one certainly don't like him now (obviously).
Now, to put some message to what our hero will obviously consider to be a hopelessly slanderous (sorry, buddy, but it's generally considered that the truth cannot be considered slander) story: in any society of interacting people, no matter how big or how small, everyone must be aware of the fact that their actions will not only have natural consequences but also social consequences. If one breaks the law, the portion of the society responsible for maintaining the law will react accordingly. If one insults another, then that person will respond as is her wont, and unless the insulted is the perfect person, her response will probably not be positive. If one does nothing but show that one lacks the maturity to realize that one's actions have consequences, then he will probably not be respected as much as he thinks he deserves. Above all, this sort of personal responsibility requires one to be aware of one's own faults and failings, if not the reasons behind them. For one, I know I am the occasional intellectual elitist and as such can be arrogant in particular circumstances; it is simply a bias which I should keep in mind as I act and plan to act. Others may be crude and intentionally trying to fulfill the stereotype of "badass" in order to make up for failings real and imagined of both lifestyle and perhaps Freudian factors; ideally, these should also be recognized and accounted for. In the end, one must recognize that all one does has its consequences.
Even this.
I would bother, but I've got a bunch of Engineering Ethics papers I could transcribe (yay, synergy!) and I think I'll do that later.
Finally, let's end with something not so important or potentially blood-boiling. Everyone has heard of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians; it is generally considered among the fifty or hundred Worst Movies Ever and makes up most of the soundbytes used in Laziest Men on Mars mixes (as well as providing the name of the "band"). Every time it is brought up, a basic synopsis of the plot is of course invoked as an introduction to the unlearned:
Martians kidnap Santa Claus in order to undo the listless ennui of their children--who are hooked up to learning machines day and night and expected to act as adults--to allow them to have the childhood they were denied, but need. Other Martian factions try to capture/assassinate Santa Claus in order to avoid irreperable damage to the Martian culture.
Most criticisms deride this plot as hopelessly stupid. Martians? Santa Claus damaging Martian culture? Bringing childhood to alien kids? How moronic is that--but, in all honesty, here's another plot or two. Look at them with an unbiased eye and tell me they aren't stupid as well.
A snowman capped with a magic top hat dances through the town and gets everyone into the Christmas spirit.
A reindeer is born to Santa's stable with an unfortunate birth defect; leading other reindeer to deride him. He befriends an elf ostracized because he wants to be a dentist instead of a toymaker and go into exile, returning only after Santa realizes that the reindeer's glowing nose is the only thing that will allow him, the magic jolly man who visits every house in the world in a single night and gets his rather wide body through rather narrow chimneys, to not cancel Christmas.
Allow me to oversimplify when I say it is an industry standard that Christmas specials and beloved Christmas stories by nature have stupid plots. They are moral parables for children at best, and mindless tripe intended to push capitalist schlock at worst. The industry mean consists of harmless tales intended to amuse and delight more than instill moral fiber or push the latest fad. Using this estimation, I would like to go on the record and say that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians isn't actually that bad.
Okay, so the production value gives it an undeniably hokey appearance and the actors (especially the kids) could work on their intonation. Bankin Rass never made anything better, really; compare green face paint with clunky stop-motion animation and take your pick. So the plot is silly; see above. If someone went into that movie and was expecting art then I could see how it would be painful. I can also see how it would be painful and dreadfully dull for parents to watch without making the occasional crack now and then... but because Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is absolutely full of tongue-in-cheek openings and just general material to work with--such as Kimar's desperate attempt to talk like Charleton Heston--that's not so hard. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space, some of its more blatant errors are what make it watchable for older adults.
But generally, as a harmless flick for little kids, it's not bad. Most of the characters are sympathetic--even the Martians--and the ones who aren't are intentionally eeeeevil in the mode of Snidely Whiplash and his henchmen. It has enough tongue-in-cheek moments--one that stands out is Santa Claus chuckling wryly as he flips switches and mutters something to the extent of "Me, the maaaaster toymaker... and now I'm pushing buttons. That's modern technology for you..."--to make it amusing, and anyone who's seen any episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 will have enough extemporaneous wisecracking skills to make the rest as hilarious as necessary. I would even go so far as to say it's better than a lot of modern yawn- and/or groan-inducing Christmas specials and movies simply because its low production values make it simple and easy to poke fun at (when it isn't poking fun at itself).
Well, that's all the ranting I feel like doing. Thanks for reading, and have a Happy New Year!
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